Death and Moving On
by AoshiSan
Summary: Can Keitaro move on with his life after the worst happenes, and who is it always watching over him. First Fic.


**Death and Moving On**

_Note: This is my first fanfic, all comments welcome._

_Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters/story/locations created by Ken Akamatsu_

Keitaro Urashima sat at his desk. Today was the day he started to live again, after so long he finally moved on from the tragedy that had changed his life forever. He was looking at a note; he remembered with in vivid detail the circumstances that led up to him writing the note and the events that followed.

----Flashback----

He had been married to Naru for only a few months when the accident had happened, he still felt guilty even though everyone told him he was not to blame, it was a simple car accident, the other party had not been looking where they were going and he could not respond in time.

He had woken up 3 weeks later in hospital after one of the most surreal experiences of his life. He had been floating in a sea of black but always in the back ground there had been this voice talking to him, singing to him. He may not have heard or understood everything but that voice, it had comforted him, made him feel safe. He had also felt a pressure on his hand, a pulling, as if something or someone was trying to draw him back.

He had awoken from the coma surrounded by everyone he cared about, but one, Naru. The first thing he had asked is where she was, the response was silence, and everyone was looking at each other, none of them being the one to break the news.

Haruka had taken a deep breath and told him, Naru had died on impact. Tears started to flow freely from Keitaro's eyes as well as from everyone else's in the room. All the girls surged forward and embraced him, but the most comforting thing he felt was someone gripping his hand, he could not tell who it was but it was the same feeling that he had felt while he was in the coma only this time he squeezed back.

Keitaro had begun the long road to recovery, physically he was fine, but mentally was another matter. One of the most painful things he had had to endure was that fact that Naru's funeral had been held one week after the accident, they hadn't known when he would wake up or even if he would wake up. The girls had all went with him to the grave yard, as soon as he had saw the grave it had finally sunken in, he fell to his knees and wept, the girls had not known what to do, try to comfort him or let him get it all out. Keitaro had stayed in there for hours just crying, the girls had one by one filtered away. In the back of his mind he had registered this but he also felt that he was still being watched, someone was looking after him and he felt comforted by this fact. It was the same watchfulness and caring he had felt while in the coma.

Keitaro had tried to keep himself busy; he had thrown himself into his work, burying the pain and grief he felt under a massive work load. All the girls were worried about him, he barely showed any emotion anymore, before he had always had a smile on his safe but know it felt as if his sole had been left in the coma and it was just his empty body walking around.

At the insistence of Haruka, Keitaro had been going to grief counselling but his heart was in to it. The councillor had told him that the guilt he had been feeling over the crash was survivor's guilt; there was nothing that he could have done to change the outcome of the accident, but the what if's had just kept playing around in his mind, what if he had swerved the other way, what if he had pressed harder on the breaks, but the main one, what if they had never left the Inn in the first place. All these things going though his mind were driving him mad, he didn't sleep the only comfort he felt was when he was working or around the girls.

Two months had passed since he had woken up and he still felt empty on the inside, and Keitaro could not take it anymore. The pain had not lessoned, it had only increased. Every morning he had awoken to an empty futon. He missed the warmth Naru had given him, every morning he had woken up before her and just watched her sleep, felt her snuggling further into his embrace. Now all he felt and saw was an empty spot in his arms. He couldn't take it any more; Keitaro got up and went to his desk and took out a piece of paper and started to write:

'_Sorry,_

_I know that this is the coward's way out but I can not stand this dull ach anymore. Each of you have always been special to me and as I look back at my life the happiest times have been with you in it. _

_Su, you never fail to amaze me, you have always kept me on my toes and flying through the air. The nights you have spent asleep in my room, have been special to me. To know that I could bring comfort to your worried sleep, and chase away the nightmares for you. _

_Mitsune, since I have known you, I have been tricked, conned and, swindled, but I have seen the side of you that is caring, sweet, and worried about how others feel. You always supported Naru and me and that meant a lot to me._

_Shinobu, I will cherish every moment that I have spent with you. You always were the steadfast defender of my mistakes. You have always been there for me. Your caring nature for everyone here is a shining example of your selflessness._

_Motoko, we never got off on the best foot, I think it was worse than Naru's and mine. But as time went on we became friends, and when you told me you loved me during that final duel with your sister on the beach, I may have looked shocked, and I was but it made me happy that some one so strong and caring could love me. You have always been there for me, held my hand during this time……_'

It was at that point that Keitaro started think clearly. He looked at the paper, he had been crying while writing and the page was covered in tear stains. The words 'held his hand' stuck in his mind, he remembered the pressure of someone holding his hand while he was in the coma; he remembered someone squeezing his hand when he had been told of Naru's death.

Keitaro stood up put the note in his pocket and walked out of his room, his face was still streaked with tears. He walked up to Motoko's room and knocked on the door. It slid open; Motoko looked at the man in front of her, his eyes red from the tears which were once more starting to fall. He stepped forward and embraced her tightly. She held him her arms while he cried. Keitaro held on for dear life, it was then that he heard that voice, the one that he had heard the whole time he was in the coma singing to him:

"_yane no ue de sora o aogu, hizashi wa uraraka_

_miageru sora, karadajuu genki ga minagitteku_

_THAT'S SO WONDERFUL! ikiterunda!_

_yamerarenai, akirameru da nante_

_tohou ni kureta kinou ni sayonara_

_futsufutsu to wakiagaru kono kimochi_

_nando demo yomigaeru, hana o sakaseyou_

_omoide wa itsu mo amai nige basho_

_dakedo tachi kire, asu o ikiru tame_

_shukufuku no toki wa kuru, te o nobashite_

_uruwashi no yawaraka na hada, imada te wa todokazu_

_me o tojireba fukuramu IMEEJI, miwaku no kajitsu_

_THAT'S SO WONDERFUL! ikiterunda!_

_yamerarenai, sono saki o mitai_

_dotou no hibi wa tsuzuku, doko made mo_

_tengoku to jigoku, yukitsu modoritsu_

_nando demo yomigaeru, hana o sakaseyou_

_hashire hashire, ai o te ni suru made_

_sore de kurushimu nara nozomu tokoro_

_shukufuku no toki ga kuru, te o nobashite_

_tohou ni kureta kinou ni sayonara_

_futsufutsu to wakiagaru kono kimochi_

_nando demo yomigaeru, hana o sakaseyou_

_omoide wa itsu mo amai nige basho_

_dakedo tachi kire, asu o ikiru tame_

_shukufuku no toki wa kuru, te o nobashite_

_te o nobashite, ryoute agete"_

Keitaro lifted his head up and looked into Motoko's eyes, silent tears flowing.

"It was you! You sang and talked to me for those three weeks." it was not a question.

"Yes" she replied

"Thank you." He said, although he knew that was hardly enough to thank her for what she had done for him.

Motoko pulled him further into her room and closed the door. That whole day they just sat and talked about anything and everything, he even showed her the note, she was shocked at first but she knew how he felt. At several low points in her life she had considered what he had, and each time he had been there for her, brought her out of her quite introspection and dark moods. She would do no less for him now; she would support him when he needed it. Keitaro never made it back to his own room.

Motoko or Keitaro never realised how late it had gotten, they fell asleep in each others arms. It was not an act of desperation nor was it from a need to replace what was gone. It was a simple act of comfort between friends, and a need to show the other that they understood what the other felt and that they would be there for them no matter what.

When Keitaro woke up the next morning he realised that this was the first time he had really slept since he had gotten out of the hospital. No nightmares of the accident, no just staring at the ceiling. He felt something moving in his arms. He looked down and saw a silken sea of black hair draped over his arms and chest. He could remember the day before vividly and he felt warm inside. Keitaro tightened his embrace and closed his eyes, just happy to be in the moment.

Over the following days the other residence noticed a marked change in Keitaro. He seemed more open, more alive that they had seen him since the accident. He spent time with each of them just talking and listening. He soon realised that he was not the only one grieving over Naru. Mitsune in particular had lost a very dear friend but as always put her friend's feelings before her own.

The girls also noticed that Keitaro and Motoko were spending a lot more time together in the evenings. They also agreed that it was the only time that his smile was back to what it was before. They could not begrudge him this comfort; they knew he was not betraying Naru's memory only getting on with his life although all of them wished it was them that he was spending his evenings with.

For 6 months Keitaro and Motoko spent every evening together, they had gotten to know each other on a level that neither knew existed. While nothing physical had happened they had formed a mutual bond that they both knew they could not live without. They had both learned from each other; Keitaro had learned to live again and Motoko what it meant to live.

It was 8 months after the accident and both Keitaro and Motoko knew that they had come to a turning point in their relationship. They were just sitting in the common room of the Inn, enjoying being together. By unspoken agreement they had never talked about taking that final step, they knew it would either make them or break them. Keitaro was scared about taking that final step, he had taken it before with Naru and he had lost her, he didn't know whether he could take that risk of being hurt again, but every time he looked at Motoko he knew it was worth it. It wasn't that he loved Motoko more or less than Naru; he just loved her in a different way and for different reasons. She had brought him back from the brink, held him, and shown him a love he could not live without. For Motoko, at first she was scared that she was just a replacement for Naru, but their time together had shown that belief to be completely unfounded. The love she saw when she looked in is eyes was for her not a shadow of what he had lost. She had loved him for so long and was so happy at being able to express those feelings and not hide them from the other residence.

Motoko was so lost in thought that she hadn't registered that Keitaro had moved from his seat next to her and was now kneeling in front of her. Motoko's eye's widened with surprise at what he was doing. Keitaro opened his mouth to speak but couldn't; Motoko had thrown herself at him and had him pinned to the ground, her lips pressed to his. Both of them were breathless when they parted. Keitaro was the first to speak up:

"I guess I don't have to ask the question?" he said with an amused smile on his face.

"You can, but the answer will be the same".

With that Motoko lowered her lips to Keitaro's again.

----End Flashback----

Keitaro looked at the note once more; he didn't know why he had kept it. In one quick movement Keitaro put the note into the shredder that was by his desk, knowing that he would never feel that low again.

Keitaro looked at the picture on his desk of Naru and him after returning from their honeymoon, he got a wistful look on his face. He remembered the honeymoon it had been one of the best times of his live, although Naru didn't get out of the habit of hitting him until they returned home.

With a determined look on his face Keitaro got up, straightened his tux and walked out to make a new future. He would no longer be Keitaro Urashima, he would be Keitaro Aoyama. It didn't matter to him if Motoko and he live happily ever after, he was just happy to live.

End

Song: Sakura Saku; Cherry Blossom Blooming

Please R&R


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